How to Make Mud Pie

My mom called me today with an unusual request: to write up a recipe to make pies out of mud. Apparently everyone invited to Erma’s wedding is supposed to submit a recipe for the favours, and my dad wanted to use this one as a joke. Since my mom has no sense of humour, the job fell to me to get it to seem like a legitimate recipe while still keeping the joke. Erma loves it. Her mother is the one planning the wedding and I don’t know how she’ll take it, but I don’t really care because it’s Erma’s wedding and I love her.

Mud Pie

This recipe is a family favourite, traditionally prepared in the summer months. You should not have to buy any ingredients as they should be things you already have around the house. For simplicity, I suggest obtaining the necessary materials from a neighbour’s yard on recycling day.

Materials;
1 dented aluminium pie tin
1 empty large stew can
1 stew can lid
1 empty soup can
1 mixing stick

Crust:
2 cups fresh cut grass
1 cup wet sand

Filling:
2 cups dry clay; strained
¼ cup mud-puddle water (may be substituted with ditch water in cases of drought)
12 live ladybugs (or whatever insects are handy)

Directions:

Mix grass and wet sand until evenly distributed. Press onto bottom and sides of pie plate. In the empty soup can mix dry clay and water with the stick until smooth. Pour into prepared crust. Place ladybugs on top of filling. Leave uncovered on picnic table in a sunny location for 4-6 hours. Cut into 6 pieces with stew can lid. Serve with pond-water tea.

Note: This recipe requires a unique sense of taste.

It’s essentially my dad’s recipe. I just took the loose version he had and spruced it up a bit.